2br - Jim Coulson

Jim Coulson

Hi, I'm Jim, I don't sleep so I can be up in the mornings, entertaining you with dodgy gags, quality prizes and up-to-the-minute news and sport (technically the last two are provided by the News team, but you get the idea).

There's money to be won on The (Bleep) Game, cinema tickets on Name That Film and Likkle Monkeys Play Centre passes on Today's Celebrity Birthdays In The Style Of Play Your Cards Right.

I'm from Scunthorpe, I used to do stand-up comedy and if I had a million pounds, I'd buy you all a Milky Way. But I don't. So I won't. But it's the thought that counts.

Audio

Beard Vote

Breakfast Joke Archive

Stuff

These are some of the best bits of the show:

JLS

The boys from JLS appeared on the Breakfast Show and this is what they had to say:

Levi Roots Interrupted

Levi Roots, the Reggae Reggae Sauce man from Dragons' Den came on the show, but was rudely interrupted:

Friday May 21st

I celebrated the birthday of a very special celebrity today...

Kirstie Allsopp

The Queen of homemade and the Empress of 'Location, Location, Location', Kirstie Allsopp, came on the show for a chat about PVA glue, lentils and lamping people.

Have a listen here:

Dick And Dom

I had a chat with the funny duo off kids TV and we had a good laugh. Hear what happened here:

Kim Woodburn (from Kim and Aggie)

The 'How Clean Is Your House?' and 'Come Dine With Me' star came on the show for a chat about laundry illiteracy and culinary excellence

Colin Baker (Doctor Who)

Colin Baker, the first Doctor Who that I enjoyed watching on the telly came on the show with Dr David Kirby of Manchester University to talk about futuristic stuff coming true, this is what happened:

Tommy Walsh

Everybody's favourite cheeky telly builder, Tommy Walsh came on the show with his energy-saving mate Rob to tell us how to save cash, reveal his favourite biscuit and talk about punch-ups with Titchmarsh. Here's how it went:

Clarke Does Countdown

Clarets defender Clarke Carlisle is pretty much one of my favourite footballers at the moment, not least for his amazing quote about whether Burnley not winning away from home and whether it was a 'monkey on their backs' - Here's his response:

And now he's going on Countdown - very exciting. So I sent Sport Guru Dan Jewell down to Turf Moor to test him out:

Legend

Ruth Badger

Former Apprentice runner-up Ruth Badger came on the show to give me some advice on saving cash. I jumped at the chance, being as tight as I am.

Hollie Steel

Accrington's very own Britain's Got Talent starlet, Hollie Steel popped in to 2BR to play us her new single and give me a singing lesson.

This is what happened:

Your contributions are in, they've been counted and the results of the most important vote of 2010 (forget whatever happens in May) are here. Which facial hair is best on me? East Lancashire has spoken:

The Tax Inspector (12% of the vote):

The Clean Shave (16%):

The 'Full Beard' (20%):

The 'Goatee' (21%):

AND OUR WINNER:

The 'My Name Is Earl' (31%):

Hmm, you've voted for that to make me look stupid haven't you? Fair enough, I'd have done the same.

Heard the Breakfast Show? Then you'll have heard one of these gags. This is the Official Breakfast Joke Collection:

THE OFFICIAL TENNIS PLAYER JOKE

Never go out with a tennis player, love means nothing to them

THE OFFICIAL HORSE RACING JOKE

Never put money on a horse at 15-1. They're rubbish at general knowledge

THE OFFICIAL BILL WITHERS JOKE

How do you turn a duck into a soul singer? Put him in a sauna till his bill withers. (Best read out loud)

THE OFFICIAL LIONEL RICHIE JOKE

Lionel Richie has divorced his second wife, if he gets wed again, he'll have been married once, twice, three times to ladies.

To be added to with time...

Jim The Pot Bellied Pig

On Wednesday's show, Adrian said that if he won the (Bleep) Game, he'd name the stone pot bellied pig that he'd bought his wife after me. He didn't win, but he did call the pig Jim. Ace.